Know that your actions, provisions, reactions, responses, (basically your obedience to God's word) plays a significant part in your wife's sanctification. Santification is a process that we all must go through. We all must go through this process for ourselves but we can not do this by ourselves.
Ephesians 5:25-27 (NLT) For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.
In order for your wife to submit to you, you must first submit to her. Humility breeds humility. Pride breeds pride. This is bigger than but yet as simple as you get what you give. In submitting to her you are not showing a sign of weakness but instead displaying great stregnth. In doing so, you facilitate an environment where you the husband (gardner) can till the ground. You will be able to plant seeds that produce the fruit that are required for you both to live a life pleasing unto God. Contrary to popular belief women were not made to submit. They must be taught this. When God created (before he formed) woman, He gave her the same dominion that He gave man. She is just as royal as you are. You have to understand this to understand what you have. With that said, no woman will submit to a man who does not display the characteristics of one who understands his dominion.
No gardener destroys his crops. Instead he nurtures them. He gives them what they need. He understands that what he has on his hands may very well be no more than good ground. Husbands understand that if God gave you this woman, He gave you good ground. With this good ground there will be work. You must plow, de-weed. We have to be willing to work through and pull out all the weeds and junk that her past may have planted. If we don't take the time to understand and pull the weeds out, they will grow and take over, starving every good seed we plant.
Fellas this is a process. Much like the woman with the issue of blood, when she touched the hem of Jesus' garment she was instantly made whole. No doubt that after bleeding for twelve years she was still a little bloody. Meaning she still not only displayed the same outward appearance, but she was still used to dealing as if she was still a castout. To bring it home... She still felt like she had to run the house. She still was a little on edge. She still felt the need to prove and assert herself. We Have to be willing to deal with that in a spirit of meekness.
Don't be mistaken men even though it sounds like the end result we are looking for here is a good wife. Its not that at all. When you do these things it doesnt only yeild a better wife. It first makes you a great husband. One who will provide for her, facilitate an environment of growth, one who will be patient, and kind. This will require that you bear the fruit of the spirit. It means that you will pray for her. This will mean that yes you may be angered, but you sin not. This will require you to be faithful, understanding and loving. You will learn to lead her without forcing her to follow. Bottom line it rquires you to love her as Christ loves the church. When we get in line.... and stay in line, everything else has no choice but to fall in line. In then end God gets the glory because of the fact that He get it throughout.
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